Family is a great blessing. The unity of family, the strength that comes from it. To know, no matter what our family loves us – that they are in our corner, they are cheering us, and praying for us and they all want what we want for them: simply everything they want in life. But just as no individual is perfect, no family is either.
Parents have the greatest role in making sure their kids are raised to know, deep down – they are loved without condition. “Do your best with God gave you” – and whether thats an A, B,C – kids need to know that their parents love for them isn’t gonna change. It is the rock that solidifies all – the corner stone. It sounds easy and simple enough yet many great people can not be that for their kids.
Unless twins do, each child in the family has a different relationship with each parent; I have found no exception to this. Each child experiences and learns from their parents in maybe the same fashion, but they experience it with different minds and personality traits and they experience it at different times in their parents life. What one child learns and receives at age 2, 6 or 10 etc can be worlds apart from from what their sibling does at that same age.
The parents may be in a great relationship mode as their kids turn 2,6,10 – their relationship, income, and health may be going thru a positive direction and yet 4 years later, all could change. Maybe because of marriage problems, or work changes or health. Regardless of the reason, What one child experienced at 10, 4 years ago can often be very different for the new 10 year old. Often, that rock has moved a bit. Sometimes a lot.
And sometimes, unfortunately – that rock has changed for some or all of the kids and the children take on roles they weren’t meant to and certainly never should have had to in order to get the approval (love) from one or both parents. Maybe one is a jokester to try and make one parent be happy. Or one jumps thru hoops to make either happy. And in the worst of cases, one becomes the rock for one parent or another. Either way, these new roles are hard to shake – especially when it works in feeling loved by their parents.
The fact is that parents are simply imperfect people doing the best they can- parenting as they know how. They may be the best people to the world, they may really love their kids, yet treat them (with good intentions or not) in manipulative ways. Those children will grow up not knowing unconditional love from you, in fact – they won’t see it as love at all. They will at best love you as you are knowing what they do will never be enough, or it will always be with strings attached.
I am no example of a perfect husband or parent – far from it in fact. But I hope, I pray, that there is no doubt that I loved them without condition, and I hope that tradition lives on with them. #prayersfromdad